at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
