so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
