What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.