The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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