ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Did I show you my penis last night?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...