Your mouth is God's brothel.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette