you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
