all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
