I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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