I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
