need another drink. this is the easiest way
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
