I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
