did you get engaged???
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize