Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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