I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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