She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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