none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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