I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
