discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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