he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
