who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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