love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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