ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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