ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
