my phone needs a breathalizer
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
