Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
