we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
