You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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