i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Actually new year, new me. I havenāt had sex yet so technically Iāve been a virgin all year.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
