She announced her abortion via fbk
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
