Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
