their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
50% drunk capacity currently
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
