week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
