Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
