remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
