WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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