well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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