the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
