end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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