It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
