where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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