Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
