FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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