It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
