i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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