Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
