I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
