i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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