The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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