4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Less talking, more tequila
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
