dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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