she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
