so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
