I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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