Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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