im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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