There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
