U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
