There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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