I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
