It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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