You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
