Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
