that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
